Speakers on for Irish Music - Scroll down slightly and it will continue unassisted.



An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cursed her

Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute...."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."

"OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million."

"For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club....(takes a breath)....and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...."

Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff.

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug.



A kind word never broke anyone's mouth.

A dog owns nothing, yet is seldom dissatisfied.

Man is incomplete until he marries.
After that, he is finished.

It is better to be born lucky than rich.

Put silk on a goat, and it's still a goat.

Marriages are all happy, its having
breakfast together that causes all the trouble.

A friend's eye is a good mirror.

It's no use carrying an umbrella
if your shoes are leaking.

God is good, but never dance in a small boat.

Drink is the curse of the land.
It makes you fight with your neighbor.
It makes you shoot at your landlord
and it makes you miss him.

Never iron a four-leaf clover,
because you don't want to press your luck.

Have a great St. Patty's Day - March 17
B. Chambers